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Adoptee help please.

#Post
1

Moore, Watson, Mortimore, all names associated with my adoption.
!956, Dee Street Invercargill.
Can you help.
Mothers name H Moore.
Fathers name. M Watson
Any help greatly appreciated.
If you are my family, and you read this. I care for you all, and do not want to cause any heartache to you.

cas82 - 2019-01-22 14:54:00
2

Hi cas82. I'm busy right now but maybe able to give you some search advice at least, later this evening. Not related, just know a bit about searching. Cheers.

junie2 - 2019-01-22 16:57:00
3

So, basics first. Have you got your original birth certificate? ( OBC ) If you got it from a counsellor/soc wrkr from CYPS Adult Adoption Inf Unit ( AAIU ) y they should have offered to do a search for your birthmother/father,( Bm/Bf) which includes marriages, deaths etc. . If you don't have your OBC it would be useful to get it via AAIU so they can search for you, and offer advice on making contact. . If you got your OBC via an independent counsellor (IC) take it to AAIU and ask for searching help anyway. That is the easy way to search. If for some reason you don't want to do it the easy way, there are a number of people on this board ( incl me )
and on NZ Super Sleuths ( Facebook ) who can advise how to search, DIY. All the best.

junie2 - 2019-01-22 21:25:00
4

All good then I guess. Nice to know.

junie2 - 2019-01-25 13:54:00
5

Have you considered doing your DNA with Ancestry?

flora11 - 2019-01-25 14:23:00
6

All the very best with your search cas82. I got my original birth certificate 30 years ago and the then Social Welfare insisted on a counselling session. Thought they were being silly but so glad they did. They also told me how to approach her if I found her (I had to do the looking then). I found her and yep, she said word for word what they told me. I was able to respond appropriately thanks to the counsellor. Fast forward to last year and I had my DNA tested through MyHeritage and a cousin found me and has since linked me up with other birth family members. My birth mother still is unable to contact me for various reasons.

My advise, let them take their time if you find family. You've had a lifetime to think about this, they haven't and it could be a shock. And my next bit of advise, invest in tissues. You will need them regardless of whatever way it all goes.

Good luck!

kiwimade64 - 2019-01-25 17:18:00
7

I got my original birth certificate 30 years ago and no counselling was offered that's for sure. Tracked my birth mother down via an investigator, but they couldn't find my father. Reason for adoption and medical info on birth certificate was not the truth as it turned out. My birth mother was very shocked to hear from me after 40 years but did write letters for a while, so long as I instigated it. Never spoke to her on the phone ..Her return mail was a PO Box. Havent heard from her in years now and she refused to meet me. Spoke to one of my half brothers on the phone once, and never again.....and my other brother I've never spoken to .....Whether the family told him Id made contact or not, I wouldnt know. They all live in Taupo, ex Auckland. Rejected again was how I felt, but I quickly got over it...

supern0va - 2019-01-26 08:23:00
8
kiwimade64 wrote:

All the very best with your search cas82. I got my original birth certificate 30 years ago and the then Social Welfare insisted on a counselling session. Thought they were being silly but so glad they did. They also told me how to approach her if I found her (I had to do the looking then). I found her and yep, she said word for word what they told me. I was able to respond appropriately thanks to the counsellor. Fast forward to last year and I had my DNA tested through MyHeritage and a cousin found me and has since linked me up with other birth family members. My birth mother still is unable to contact me for various reasons.

My advise, let them take their time if you find family. You've had a lifetime to think about this, they haven't and it could be a shock. And my next bit of advise, invest in tissues. You will need them regardless of whatever way it all goes.

Good luck!


You would have done your search around the same time as me. I don't think I got told about how to approach my mother, but do recall sitting there holding my OBC and just looking at the name, thinking "that is a real name and person". I was peeved (very polite terminology) to find that if the name had been vetoed, you did not have to see a counsellor, it was just sent to you. That is wrong on so many levels.

My sister has good contact with her BM and family. But her BM found her (contacted her on her 21st but she had been following our family since sis was five).

Good luck OP with your search, all our stories are different, some work out, some not so much. My regret is not contacting my paternal grandparents before they passed.

unknowndisorder - 2019-01-26 08:25:00
9

Hello does anyone know of a good UK source/resource re searching for a birthmother who is believed to be living there - possibly London?. - thanks

pacificrose42 - 2019-02-14 13:36:00
10
pacificrose42 wrote:

Hello does anyone know of a good UK source/resource re searching for a birthmother who is believed to be living there - possibly London?. - thanks

Adult Adoption Inf Units ( part of CYFs/Te Oranga Tamariki ) have details for overseas help, incl UK.

junie2 - 2019-02-14 18:23:00
11

This message was deleted.

mixel - 2019-02-15 09:27:00
12

Good luck cas82. I'm on the opposite side of the table to you as I was not the one doing the searching, I was one of the siblings being searched for.
I was like a stunned mullet when I found I had another sister 3 years ago. For some reason it completely knocked me off my perch at finding I was not the oldest granddaughter anymore (in my mid 50's!!!) Fortunately my sister and I like one another, but definitely go slow and steady when you do meet them.

l.e - 2019-02-17 10:32:00
13

I think cas82 must have found her family and been kidnapped by them. A whole month since she started the thread and no acknowledgement to help provided.

nbrob - 2019-02-17 22:19:00
14
nbrob wrote:

I think cas82 must have found her family and been kidnapped by them. A whole month since she started the thread and no acknowledgement to help provided.

.

Edited by junie2 at 11:25 pm, Sun 17 Feb

junie2 - 2019-02-17 23:24:00
15

I have found my Birth Uncle, although he is a stepbrother to my birth Mother ...He wants me to allow him to talk to my Birth Mum. I do not want that to happen. I believe it would cause a huge Family Rift. I am not here to cause Heart ache. Their Family is extremely close. I have Video's of my birth family. I have met My Uncle, and have Family photos, thanks to him. Thank you all for your concern.

cas82 - 2019-02-19 16:01:00
16

cas82 this is not my area of expertise but perhaps your birth mother should be given the choice of contact. Her step-brother is probably going to talk to her about it any way. I hope you do get to meet her.

nbrob - 2019-02-19 16:19:00
17

IMO direct contact is almost always best. Having intermediaries and other well-meaning folk poking their noses in can often inflame a situation, and why should it be necessary anyway? . If you have an Adoption Support Group near you, they have lots of knowledge and information about the most successful ways to make contact.

junie2 - 2019-02-19 16:53:00
18

Birth Mother has been given choice of contact. She declined. I have no hard feelings, and wish her and Family every happiness . Thank you all.

cas82 - 2019-02-24 18:26:00
19

Best wishes to you, Cas. You never know what the future holds. Big hugs and definitely wishing you all the best.

unknowndisorder - 2019-02-24 19:02:00
20
unknowndisorder wrote:

Best wishes to you, Cas. You never know what the future holds. Big hugs and definitely wishing you all the best.

Thank you so much for your very kind words. Makes a huge difference to know someone understands. And someone Cares. Thank you.

cas82 - 2019-02-28 15:16:00
21

This message was deleted.

mixel - 2019-02-28 16:54:00
22

Thank you Mixel. I totally agree with what you say, I have some photo's, they have made a huge difference.
Just to see somebody that looks like me, is amazing.
Poor buggers, LOL

Edited by cas82 at 3:38 pm, Sat 2 Mar

cas82 - 2019-03-02 15:37:00
23

hi case82 my mothers maiden name was moore. we would be intrested in maybe talking if you like, my mother was born in invercargill.

rimrose64 - 2019-05-04 12:56:00
24

I also got my Birth Certificate in 1985 when the act changed, no counselling or advice offered. Took me fifteen minutes in the Palmerston Public Library to track my Birth Mother down. I eventually did phone her but she denied that she had had a daughter. She died about seven years ago (I had kept track of her through the electoral rolls), got her death notice from the funeral director and found she had one son. Contacted him and found she had had two other boys who were adopted out (a family member who worked for Social Welfare found that out) so I have three half-brothers. We have met up but only one has remained in full contact - he and I felt we were full brother and sister as we are very alike but the DNA test shows we are half-siblings. I eventually intend to apply to the court for access to my adoption records as I was a privately arranged adoption. My mother's name was May Shanks, I was born in Redroofs in Dunedin.

annie_kiwi - 2019-05-05 16:43:00
25

hi case82 my mothers maiden name was moore. we would be intrested in maybe talking if you like, my mother was born in invercargill.

Are there any of these names associated with your Family rimrose..Watson, Foster or first name ....Rose.
Thank you for your interest and post.

cas82 - 2019-05-06 17:32:00
26
cas82 wrote:

Birth Mother has been given choice of contact. She declined. I have no hard feelings, and wish her and Family every happiness . Thank you all.

Mine did the same...Its not quite the ending as they portray on Lost and Found...

supern0va - 2019-05-06 18:40:00
27

rimrose........ did you see my message ?

cas82 - 2019-05-07 13:14:00
28

hi case82 yes ive just seen yr message today .sorry been away.no the surnames dont ring any bells but my mothers first name is rose.

rimrose64 - 2019-05-13 11:09:00
29
cas82 wrote:

rimrose........ did you see my message ?

Yes

rimrose64 - 2019-05-13 13:46:00
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Thanks rimrose, Might be a different family I think..

cas82 - 2019-05-13 16:24:00
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oh ohk no worries

rimrose64 - 2019-05-13 17:26:00
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rimrose, the Rose in my Family was a male.

cas82 - 2019-05-14 16:44:00
33

Hi Cas sorry to read your post about your birth mother and do wish you very well. I've just stumbled on to your post and curious to ask if you dont mind but did you manage to find out if you have siblings?or any other new info?

landeson77 - 2019-05-15 14:06:00
34

Best wishes Cas to you. I think its very brave of you to post this up. Do hope for the best.

landeson77 - 2019-05-15 14:11:00
35
landeson77 wrote:

Hi Cas sorry to read your post about your birth mother and do wish you very well. I've just stumbled on to your post and curious to ask if you dont mind but did you manage to find out if you have siblings?or any other new info?

I believe my birth parents married eventually, and had another daughter and 2 Sons. I do have a lot of other info, but not sure about posting on here. I, as I have said, do NOT want to cause any problems with birth Family.

cas82 - 2019-05-15 15:02:00
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