Evening, I am trying to help a 3-4 cousin who came up on my DNA matches. I did not know her. She was adopted and only has a name of a NZ father. She is showing on our shared matches as matching all my Grandfathers side.
She has 104cm matches. Any ideas as to who we share, GFather, GGFather etc. I have looked on my tree to see if I can figure out who her father might be amongst the cousins that I know off but can’t find any. The name I have of her birth father is not one I know of although he has the same surname. But that is not to say he isn’t amongst them but there are not that many as far as I can see. He would be in his late 70s early 80s now if he is still alive. He was not aware of the pregnancy but was named by the Mother on the adoption papers. She went back home overseas once the baby was born.
I have checked BDM but nothing showed. He could well have gone overseas.
I am not sure where to go next.
Any ideas gratefully accepted. I would love to help her find out who her family is especially her father.
Cheers
Jan

rover48 - 2019-10-09 21:04:00

Can you get access to her DNA? The only way you can work it out is to get all her 3rd cousin matches and colour code them to our match, i.e. make yourself and green and all your matches with her as Green, then you need to work out from there looking at ever one of her matches. Hard to explain.

flora11 - 2019-10-09 22:24:00

Thanks yes I understand what you are saying. As far as we have talked her matches are the same as mine but I will get her to screen shot hers so I can check. We take it for granted when we are researching our families that we know where we come from so it is really hard to imagine being in the position of not knowing anything. ????

rover48 - 2019-10-09 22:51:00

3rd cousins share a great x2 grandfather.
4th cousins share a great x3 grandfather.

4th cousins are really starting to get tricky to find especially if your tree does not go as far as your great x3 grandfather and the multitude of descendants.

Edited by wenpen at 12:34 am, Thu 10 Oct

wenpen - 2019-10-10 00:32:00

I recently helped someone, I ended up putting all the colour codes into a spread sheet and then looked at every single person's tree looking for name matches....only took two years!

flora11 - 2019-10-10 08:49:00

https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4 will help give possibilities for relationships.

https://dnapainter.com/tools/probability allows you to put different relationships together for different results and see what is most likely. Your new cousin might find this useful for looking at groups of matches!

rednicnz - 2019-10-10 15:47:00

You are a wonderful person to be willing to help your match. I am working with an adoptee and it is really really helpful when you get a match who will work through the shared matches.
The colour coding people are talking about I notice was first mentioned by a Dana Leeds, if you or your adoptee google DNA Leeds method you will come across her website, it can be really helpful to do this chart, the theory is that it will give the tester the surnames for four sets of great-grandparents (so long as descendants have tested). Or your adoptee can cheat by using a free website called genetic affairs. Just remember to use similar numbers to those used with the DNA Leeds method 399CM to 90CM.
On the DNA painter tool mentioned above 104CM has quite a few possibilites, e.g. half second cousin (half2C), second cousin 1xremoved (2C1R), third cousin (3C). Those are just some possibilities; so half 2C would mean you share a great-grandparent; 2C1R either a set of great-grandparent or set of 2x great-grandparents; 3C you share a set of 2x great-grandparents.
If you already know it your grandfathers line you can go back up to his grandparents, widen the tree, bring the down. If you can find more matches then you will know which of your grandfather's ancestors to concentrate on.
If you are on Facebook you can join DNA detectives which is very helpful.
One of the search angels on there suggested creating a private unsearchable tree, and give the adoptee full rights to it so you can work the hints and tips. The adoptee can then look at the hints for ancestry member trees and see if anyone has a DNA match to herself.
Good luck

catsmeat1 - 2019-10-10 16:53:00

Thanks for all your suggestions. It is really intriguing as this lady my 3rd/4th cousin comes up as a higher match to my full 1st cousin. She is down as a 2nd cousin to her. As my mum and her dad were siblings does this perhaps mean that the male side DNA is higher? Being a 2nd cousin to my cousin must make her unknown father pretty close in our family I would think.....it is so easy to take our known heritage for granted so I would love to he able to help her find her family....I do have a name that I am looking at but fir the life of me he seems to have disappeared no death or anything so may still he alive. He would have to be in his late 70s/80s to be her father.

Edited by rover48 at 10:37 pm, Thu 10 Oct

rover48 - 2019-10-10 22:35:00

Hi Jan, One thing you may want to consider is using the centimorgan numbers rather than the cousin categories as the categories can include various relationships. For example you mention that the adoptee matches you at 3rd/4th cousin but your first cousin at 2nd cousin. It may help if you tell us what the CM numbers are as it could just be the randomness of DNA. The DNA painter website is very good for showing the range of CM numbers for the various relationships, e.g. 3rd/4th cousins can be 0-217CM, 2nd cousin 46-515CM.

Are your Mum and your uncle (the father of the 1st cousin) full siblings or half siblings? What CM do you share with your 1st cousin?

If you have a birth for the "target" with parents names your adoptee may be able to do a surname search for them.

catsmeat1 - 2019-10-11 21:47:00

Ok here goes, my cms with my new “cousin” is 104.
Her cms with my 1st cousin are 311.
My mum and my 1st cousin are full siblings.
My 1st cousin is the 2nd highest match on her matches.
I do not have a birth date for the possible father but a birth after his parents marriage would put him in the right age range to have been her father. Approx early 20s in 1963 when she was born.
I have a name that was given on her adoption info but I can not find him at all, although he has a name that is not too common apart form his surname.
But as I am still trying to add children of great uncles etc he may not be the prime suspect, but the only one with the right name so far.
There is quite a big difference in ages between my mum and her other cousins so I have never known them, only my immediate 1st cousins.
Many thanks.
Jan

rover48 - 2019-10-11 23:46:00

I meant to say my mum and my 1st cousins father are full siblings.

rover48 - 2019-10-12 00:06:00

Hi the 311cm is a great match. Are you on Facebook? If yes join Group called Genealogy New Zealand and Beyond. Put up message there and then people can message you privately. ????

catsmeat1 - 2019-10-12 07:07:00

Best thread ever!!!! I am helping one adoptee plus an older man who never knew his father.
Between my own family tree and theirs I quite often have post it notes forming "practice" family trees down a door to see if it looks ok and Lord knows when I last saw my dining table.

l.e - 2019-10-12 07:25:00

Thanks i will have a look see on that site.

rover48 - 2019-10-13 17:12:00